Lita, Goddess Of Growth (00:01)
goddess of growth I am here to give my check-in my update I hope you are with me I hope you’re good and this is me at the end of a very very very long transit as you may know I do read on astrology I read it I haven’t taken it as seriously as I
should have or could have on occasion
Pluto Square Pluto, some would call it their midlife crisis, started to affect me from the end of 2022 until the end of July 2025. And just before the end, I started to feel the shift, the difference. However, there is a sense of mourning.
There is a sense of fatigue.
I spent from 2022 until the very last moment doing my best to fight against circumstances, bring back finances that had disappeared, connect with connections that had disappeared. Friends, family, jobs, career, everything just
seemed so distant, so far away as I sat struggling, working many hours off most every day, trying to at least recoup and regain the stability I thought I had before 22, 23, 24 and early 25 kicked in. All the time
Having in mind I mustn’t lose my home, I must keep my home. That’s the only thing really that keeps me moving forward because I have had a life of moving from place to place, job to job.
And prior to moving to this house in 2020, I was fortunate to purchase my first apartment and that was the very first place of stability that I had from leaving my parental home at the age of 17. So my apartment was my first purchase and I was able to stay there 11 years and three months.
I’ve aged.
I’ve definitely aged and it seems to have happened within the last few weeks and months, not years for sure. It’s almost as if the hope, the optimism, everything just came crashing down. But not with total despair. There’s a sense of faith, a sense of resolution.
you know, a better understanding that there’s more to life than what I see. There’s been lots of losses, dreams I’ve had and held onto as to the reasons why I should persevere and keep on working have disappeared.
And now I attempt to carve a path so that at least the last quarter of my life is spent doing things I truly enjoy. Otherwise, what’s life for, right?
no children, no husband. All the things I thought would be a natural aspect of my life.
I am going through the aftermath of this Pluto Square Pluto transit and it came in troughs. There were times when I thought I’d beat it as things appeared to be moving for me and there were times when as I say things just disappeared.
But I’m here, the transit has ended and now we have the time for cleanup. And interestingly, the cleanup has included me questioning whether this home that I’ve fought to stay in for so many years is the right space and base for myself. All of a sudden…
The one thing that was keeping me focused and moving forward is the one thing that I now want to change. I don’t know if it’s just the furniture that needs changing, the decor.
or a move. I have no idea how a move will happen because finances are so dire at the moment. But I know life has a habit of working itself out. The answers will come. I just know that the urge I feel to move, to start afresh a new chapter, that’s definitely something that I need to listen to.
Pluto square, Pluto, who knew huh? I read it and like with all transits one never really knows what we’re going to go through until we actually go through it but having it to reflect on has been helpful. I did have assistance and guidance, people came into my life along the way to guide me and prompt me. Many didn’t have the best advice and guidance at all.
It’s as if I was being reminded to go back to self, stop reaching outside, go inside. What’s your inside telling you? And my inside has been prompted me to try new things, to persevere and also to question when things aren’t working, to sit back and really observe the environments that I’m in.
You see, I notice when I’m in a path of life where I feel it’s okay to live in fantasy. For sure, I will meet people that mirror fantasy back to me.
But I am a Scorpio, rising sign Taurus. Most certainly eventually the truthful be something that comes to me. It might take a while as I stubbornly try to make things work even when the time to let go may have passed a long long long time ago.
So I am in a reflective space. I could have come on a good while ago, but it’s been hard. It’s been tiresome. I’ve been attempting to incorporate new opportunities and get on with those whilst clearing up the old transit, the old chapter.
Who knew? So yes, relationships have been challenged, ideas on life have been challenged, my dreams have been challenged. What remains? My ability to coach, my ability to connect, to empathise. And what remains is a greater wisdom and understanding that there are some things in life that are definitely pre-written.
Our season is our season.
and as I reflect on some of the losses there’s definitely been gains. I suppose the idea that I could lose my home given that the finances were so low kept me really focused and working beyond any type of…
work I’ve done in the past. I’ve never worked so hard in my life. Early mornings, late evenings.
Mind you, this last week I haven’t been on social media to post or live stream. It’s almost two weeks now that I stopped live streaming. There’s a lot of things I’ve learned and I understand I need to streamline. And there does come a time when I ask myself, you’ve put in all these hours, what is it you have to show for it?
And these were questions I was being asked anyway, but I needed to see it for myself.
It’s been a fight, it’s been a struggle.
And even towards the end, find that systems in place are almost trying to clamp down on my voice. Thank goodness for podcasting. In fact, it was those very same systems that encouraged me to podcast. I joined TikTok initially with my business account.
and I noticed there were a few shares that would be deleted as apparently they were not seen as appropriate. It took me nearly a year, probably not so long, to choose to open a different account, a creator account, so that I could have fun and be more, freer in talking about what I wanted to talk about. But the systems that be put some kind of multi-account flag on it,
basically suppressed it from growing, stopped my purse from going out.
I was alerted to it around last November, December, but I didn’t take it seriously because I was so much focused on what I wanted to do and how I wanted to proceed.
Yeah, the journey continues. Taking on roles and responsibilities for money, that continues. Started something part-time last year and I thought I would be leaving it by now, making sure that I would be self-sufficient on a full-time, self-employed basis rather than dipping in and out as I do.
And it turns out that the part-time became full-time, whilst also doing other things to make sure that my self-employed activity isn’t forgotten or left behind.
April I started getting prompts on my for you page or for you feed how you call it on TikTok, guiding me to apply to become a TikTok creator network.
It seemed like a great opportunity to continue my coaching and because I have been on the platform for a while and had my various experiences, I thought this would be a great opportunity to see what goes on behind the scenes and also to give my inputs and support to other creators that want to grow. I have had
good experiences on the platform. I managed to get an ambassadorship, I managed to get affiliate programs, made any great income. However, this space is there to grow. And as much as I felt as if my own presence was being suppressed, I can see the opportunities with the right support.
on and off the platform. I applied and within I think probably a week I was accepted into the role. I had three attempts to go for interviews which I could not make because of her commitments but I was able to be pushed through and the role became mine.
and it’s only now I’m now fully understanding that such a role may actually mean the decision to limit or curtail or suppress my voice.
I have had to sit with a lot of things observing the environment, the platform, the space to really try to understand how it is I would fit in, not just for the creators that I’m going to support to coach, but also for myself, what happens to my coaching practice, my podcast, the areas that I want to develop. But you know, in the
traditional Pluto way. Sometimes we get these opportunities to really help us to transform. And my life is about transformation, transforming myself first and encouraging others to transform also. And I understand now in hindsight, there’s quite a few opportunities that have come my way over the last, from 2022 until now.
that have come my way to encourage me to adjust my focus. So this Creator Network opportunity came. I’ve used my limited company to register to do it. And I’ve been sold a dream of building my own company and entity to support others to grow. And it’s all within a structure.
And what’s nice about it is that one has access to the backstage of the company and they’re able to look at analytics to see how engaged audiences are. We understand with live streaming, we have the opportunity individually to build our own channels. The platform provides the space, the opportunity is for us to make the space our own.
So we get that.
What I didn’t factor in is that everything is still in development. So I’ve been showing up in spaces and not finding the right connections to build and grow. Spending time online intending on meeting people that I can support only to find that the wrong people ⁓ are sent to the space that I am in.
live streaming.
And what I’ve learned from that is that actually it’s my task to curate. ⁓
followers, contacts, connections, clients, who knew?
It’s my task to network and reach out, make myself available and visible so that people can connect with me too.
And what the opportunity has brought to my attention is the need to have a entity beyond just a social media platform. Because each one comes with their rules and regulations right. And let’s not forget when I joined TikTok so many years ago now, 2023 I believe.
I went on so that I could expand my connections, build my network so that I’d have more people getting to know me to refer me and my services onto others.
The Creator Network opportunity really did feel as if it was the perfect opportunity. And notice I say it’s in past tense and I have been working to adapt it to my own trajectory, my own growth area, my vision of what support and coaching looks like.
And even today I’ve asked questions as to how I am expected to show up and I still have a few questions left unanswered. expect to find out very soon because how the role was sold to me was that it would be one where I could increase my brand awareness, visibility and those of others.
But at the moment it looks as if it might be the case of promoting what is going on on the platform. I don’t know. We’ll see.
And if I think about it, it’s been like that across social media. Each and everyone has their rules. We have these algorithms that we’re supposed to post on to get acknowledged, to get seen. Visibility is key. And we find that we are simultaneously being clamped down on in terms of our authentic expression.
They offer visibility, well that’s the promise isn’t it? Because we understand with visibility we can get the monetisation many of us want and not necessarily from the platform. We’ve got brand deals, we’ve got customers that will come to meet with us directly. There’s collaboration, there’s partnerships out there to be made. But not if anyone’s seeing you. If they’re not seeing you, the collaborations can’t happen.
Coming.
So, Pluto Square, Pluto took everything away and I spent the majority of that time following guidance. Be visible, be present on social media, that’s what you’ll need to do as your next step. What I didn’t understand was the time that I was in was not the time really that any form of visibility was going to help my growth and development.
However, in being there, the opportunities that have come my way, they were able to…
Yeah, take place.
I think the time of drought, should we say, Pluto’s queer Pluto was a training ground to identify and see restrictions. I remember so many posts I created with people really happy with the posts I created. They resonated and they’d come onto my account and they’d like and comment and do all the things that you’re supposed to do to push posts.
And more than one person, the very final one who I was telling, please stop, just don’t bother sharing the post, just leave it because it became apparent that actually if the platform doesn’t want to push your post, they will not push your post. And the very last person said to me, she doesn’t understand it. It’s evident that they’re not pushing the post.
Yeah and you know this is life, this is what we’re taught in childhood isn’t it? It’s become apparent to me that my mother daughter relationship was really the training ground for what was going to happen next. Imagine being in situations whereby you have an entity that’s reminding you for your behaviour that doesn’t suit their environment.
and then not long after giving you encouragement to take on a training program or an opportunity or whatever it is that comes your way. And that’s how it’s been that pull, push, pull, push, pull. It’s taken me a while to fully acknowledge what’s been going on. When you’re used to that cycle, it can be sometimes quite difficult to identify it. But once you see it,
you see it and you can’t unsee it.
having my voice clamped down on at a time when in my life this is the time for my life for me to be seen, for my voice to be heard.
So we have a push and pull on power, on transformation, on a real dynamic for change. And now is my opportunity to acknowledge my inner power. Tap into it.
getting ready to release it. I have no idea of the exact time it will be that I will be able to stand and be strong and present in the leadership opportunities I’m aware are destined for me. But for now, we’ve passed through the last few years addressing any ideas of having power.
and control of a life. Who knew?
learning that actually the greatest power comes from understanding that we actually do not know what’s going to happen in the next moment in the next breath. We assume but we really don’t know. Even if we see what is written to follow we really do not know. I was given guidance and there are a few things that I see that has manifest. I was like ⁓
I see. Could I have avoided it? I don’t think so. I did try my best to. I worked really hard to avoid all the things that happened.
I’m here, I’m still here in my home, the home I fought to keep.
There are things that I prayed for and I wanted and then towards the end I’m now questioning, is that really me?
So that I think it was about a week or two ago, my two empty rooms, I believe I’ve received a couple of inquiries and I really did not want to connect. I just felt so exhausted, so beaten on, so trodden on, so tired. I really did not want to connect to talk about people coming into my space, a space that ⁓ I can barely breathe in living in.
on my own. The space needs a clearing, candles, incense, everything just to take that energy that I’ve been suppressing for so long trying to get through, plod through. People had told me that I should leave my home and come back at the transit end. I really don’t know who has the freedom to run away from transits.
what a privileged life you lead, I think, if you’re able to see a transit and say, okay, let me get a ticket. I’m not staying there for now. That’s an amazing life. And maybe that’s your path. But I’m here, I’ve done it. Little bit of sadness.
Yeah, but I’m here.
Now I am, if I’m honest, struggling. I remind myself to be grateful. I understand that everything I have, there was a time that I prayed to have it. I meditated on having it. This house, I wrote a list of all the rooms I wanted. I wrote it down and I manifested it.
It took six months because it was in the pandemic when I got it. It took six months for me to be able to move in. I found it in April. I moved in in September.
So I have no idea why now of all times my mind has decided, my soul has decided, now is the time to think about moving after so much effort trying to keep it. It’s funny, I’m thankful that I didn’t just lose it.
I’m really thankful that I was able to hold it together and at least keep this roof over my head.
And then we think about maintaining the material and allowing for the spiritual to happen. And what do I mean by that? See, within everything that’s happened, I have learned to listen more to my inner voice. There’s been so many times I’ve sat down
and listen to others speaking as to what I should, could and what they would do in my situation.
You know, it’s taken me a long time to really fully acknowledge the environment that I’ve been in.
not just my home. My home has been my shield and it has actually kept me safe. I’ve not been in a position until just this year when I got a plot, which I no longer have. I’ve not been in position to get involved with village life, politics or anything because I’ve just been home working, working, working morning, night, morning, night. I’ve hardly gone anywhere which has affected my body.
It has been my refuge, my sanctuary, my shelter, my space.
and this is the home and space that I’ve learned to listen to my soul in my waking hour.
often waking up with messages of what to do today, how to go about things, sometimes questioning was that really a message? Did you make it up? Are you in tune or are you just making it up as you go along? And finding a joy and a pleasure when I’ve listened and things have worked out well. Expressing annoyance when I haven’t listened to find that things have not worked so well.
So my lesson has been to take note of transits and there is a push and pull with me because sometimes I see transits and all that, that’s not really going to bother me and sometimes it could be the flip side of it. I don’t always know which ones will have a direct impact on my current situation. I’m still learning, it’s been many years reading astrology but I’m still learning.
life experience is a great teacher right. My perfection year was two which meant that the focus was supposed to be on finance and because I’m still learning I assumed that meant I was going to have an increase of finance not a reduction.
Jupiter has passed through my life and I expected an increase of finance. It wasn’t explained to me that actually Jupiter will enhance whatever it finds. Debts, work, whatever it finds. Who knew? I’ve been waiting for miracles. I’ve been waiting for fast solutions.
Interestingly, the role I took on last year to get a bit of cash in, feedback I had was, ⁓ you know, you’re looking for fast life, fast cash, you know, it’s not going to happen. Like, who knew that I’d be going into full time hours? I’m learning there are things that we find and we think, don’t bother with that, because, you know, it could be dodgy or what I have here. And actually, they work out better.
to the things that you think are more realistic. I’ve started to question what does work mean for me? We have this idea of stability, but you do know that the majority of the jobs out there are actually a gamble, right? It came to me one day when I was questioned about working for commission. Bonuses.
The majority of the jobs that we do are the gamble. We have employers, do we not, that will guarantee an income. But we know as history has shown us, there has been times where employers haven’t been able to pay employees due to crashes in the marketplace and so. And even though as an employee, you may not personally be reliant on
the interest rates also. Often companies are investing money into the stock exchange. There is a bit of a gambling environment going on, making sure that whoever has signed up for pensions can get those health care and also to secure the long-term position of the company. It’s common sense, You’d want to invest the money.
into something to make it appreciate, no?
Just because you may not necessarily go out and invest in a stock market yourself doesn’t mean that the company that you’re working for isn’t doing the same.
we’ve just taken risks in a different way and the risk that we’re taking is determining the standard of life that we’re living, right?
I’ve had a long period of struggle. And when I say a long period of struggle, there’s been so many hours, you know, I can’t believe I’ve done all of that. I’m only just getting back or getting my sense of self-respect. I’ve been doing coaching a lot of time free of charge. And interestingly, the Creator Network opportunity requires one to give
coaching free of charge but it’s like a partnership so the idea is that you coach others to do well as they do well they start earning through gifts on the platform and then the platform pays you however
I don’t know how many people one will meet that will do well. I’m yet to see it.
There’s an energy about free delivery when it comes to this kind of service actually.
I needed the experience. I needed to go through what I went through to see the depth, the level.
I sat so many times watching people on a live stream with a few hundred people watching them and very few, you know they rely on gifts, very few gifts being sent and we’d all sit down taking knowledge, feeding off the host that was sharing things that one could use to help make their lives better.
There’s been so many shifts around me and I think it was a ground for me to study and work out like what is this social media all about?
I’ve learned real growth comes from not just networking but relationship building. It doesn’t matter which platform we use, what kind of conduit, we need to be in a position where we can connect with each other and relate. It’s the human nature. We need to hear each other’s voices even if we can’t touch. We need to be present. We need to be able to build rapport.
So the focus now is on relationship building. The focus now is on creating spaces that safe where visibility is okay. And it’s the focus right now to make sure that there is a space where not only are we visible, but we have a voice because so many times we’ve been forced to clamp down on our voice in childhood.
in womanhood, in life.
And this is not the time for me personally to just be quiet.
So the podcast remains. This is my space. I know I don’t have many listeners at the moment but that’s okay. For the time being this is the space as it is to be.
I will continue to share my lessons. And you know, if you are going through something similar, whether or not you read astrology, I want you to be assured, as you know, something in your background, know, this time will pass. Be ready for the clean up. I’ve got so much cleaning up to do right now. I mean, literally. There are things, you know, when…
We’re in the 11th of August now. I’m telling you, I felt the shift towards the end of July. I tell you how close it was. So the Pluto Square, Pluto Transit talked about finances disappearing, this disappearing, that disappearing. And we were coming towards the end of July and I thought, surely my finances will increase before the end of July. I probably misread a few transits and so hopefully
hoped that things would change and in fact I was offered more income and really at the very last moment I was told it wasn’t going to come until August I was like what the hell how do you mean August we need it in July July I was in a position where I wasn’t even able to pay to keep my Wi-Fi on let me tell you
managed to pay everything else but the wifi but here I am
didn’t even give me a break to say okay now you’re leaving the transit let me give you a break I didn’t even have a break
and it also meant that I had to focus on committing more of my time.
And now I’m in a space of wanting freedom. I suppose that’s the next stage. Movement and freedom is my next focus, right?
spend so long trying to keep a space and a house and a structure, stability, get to the end of it and then all of a sudden you just want it all to explode, for it to go, everything just to go. I don’t know how it’s going to work but I know things just need to move. And I know it might sound ungrateful but trust me, it’s like I’ve been in a container in a prism and then the prism’s just like
I need to be near water, cool breeze and just breathe. Another thing, age near 51 now, I can definitely feel the change in my hormones. This is real life going on right now. It’s like my body is telling me this energy, this space, it needs to change. When everyone was saying to me, you know, you’re going to move or, you know,
why don’t you give up your home? I was adamant no I’m staying this is my stability I have nothing else and now when I’m in a calmer space and the transit has gone I’m just like my goodness yeah I need to come out of this space and I’m sorry house I do thank you for having me.
but it’s time to move on. I don’t know how it’s going to happen and I suppose that’s life. I don’t know how tomorrow will happen.
So transformation has been the key. I am a Scorpio and it’s all about identifying transformation in myself and working with you as you transform. I do not know how the Creator Network opportunity will work out. I know it’s easy to just walk away. I’ve given them an opportunity to really be clear as to if they’re expected me to just
clamp down on my personality and my voice to promote their business. Let’s see. But what I do know is that right now it’s important that I connect with others and take them through transformation so that they can be visible. Providing time and space for visibility. Through even my short time
work in this creator network training and so I’ve acknowledged that actually beyond any platform we need spaces where we can talk freely where we can connect freely no algorithm in place just pure connection transformation visibility once we’re able to do our inner work we are then in a place and space to create channels so that
brands, partnerships, collaboration can take place.
I’ve learned there’s a difference between partnership and collaboration. One can collaborate with others without a contract in place. One can have a partnership with a contract and feel very alone in that partnership.
Collaboration is key.
I’m doing the work within myself and I know the universe is as such to guide those that need it to me. Transformation is the focus and I have been working on some websites yet again to bring my ecosystem together, regardless as to whether I’m on social media or not.
There is a space now where others can connect with me and I am focused on supporting creators. I love that term creators. You do not need to be on social media to connect. We are all creators, right? We’re creating this life that we’re living. We can come together. We can look at our life story and transform through our life story and through that story, tap in.
to be a light onto ourselves and everyone else.
It’s hard at times.
The idea really is that we need to go through that hard in order to appreciate the next step. And I am hopeful that the next step, the next chapter will be a beautiful one. I’m still in transition. This is a transition into my fifties. I never knew my life would be like this. Second home, second mortgage. Definitely not what I had in mind.
Yeah, but it is what it is right. So you have been listening to Leta, Goddess of Growth and I’d love it if you could tap in to this podcast. To support me I do have some links at the bottom of the podcast that you can tap into. I have been using London or
for a number of months now in fact I became an ambassador I’m still an ambassador for them so there is some kind of referral link where you can save a bit and treat yourself I will say again when I started taking the adaptogenic coffee I was on or trying to give up a 10 cup a day habits coffee and tea majority coffee with milk
sugar. Let me tell you about almost a fortnight ago something happened I cannot remember what exactly I chose to have a coffee the old coffee with milk and I put sugar I put sugar because it tasted really sour so I put sugar and the thing was so disgusting
I found I cannot drink my old coffee which used to taste the best, like the best coffee in the world to me. I can’t drink it anymore. I can’t drink the milk with the sh… I… it was disgusting. At the moment I drink London Atropics Black. I went down to two cups a day. I’ve now gone to one cup a day. Sometimes just half a cup. Sometimes half a cup in the morning is enough. And I must say, I’ve started putting half a cup in the fridge.
it doesn’t taste that nice. reheat it and it doesn’t taste that nice so it’s kind of like if you’re not drinking the whole lot just just discard it. So I thought it was just me but I was rereading some material from them only this week talking about synergies and apparently quite a few people have been able to reduce their coffee intake. The coffee is so good you’ll get so much in it because they put adaptogens.
that you really just want the one. You don’t need it. You don’t crave it.
And there has been some mornings that I haven’t had it. I was raised as a child to always have a hot drink in the morning, but I’ve woken up and just not wanted it, just not fancied it.
I don’t know if that’s the great marketing tool for it because obviously brands tend to want you to commit to buying and drinking their brands for life right? I think it is a brand that I could really have for life and just have it once in a while. It’s not an addiction which is a good thing I think.
Yeah, there are some other links on the podcast as well. My focus is on wellness. I’ve really let myself go over the last couple of years. I was doing really well in hindsight around 23, 24. I used to walk every day three, four hours a day and so then I got a few injuries because I walked too much.
And you know how life happens, right? It’s like self-sabotage. Then before you know it, life happened and I ended up just being in the house most days of the week.
So yeah, I go back to the, I do need to work out how I will be manifesting a new space because I missed the ability which I had when I was in my apartment to leave home in the night and then just walk and walk and walk. It was light enough for me to do that. Where I’m living, it’s a village and when it gets dark, it doesn’t feel comfortable to me to walk on my own.
Now mind you I do know that there are people that run in the very early hours I’ve been told, two o’clock and four o’clock in the morning. That’s just not me. So yeah, transformation is the theme of this podcast. Are you going through it yourself? What support are you getting at this time? We’re learning if you don’t know someone’s season.
It can be quite difficult to guide someone through whichever transit they’re going through, whichever change or transformation and often the transformation that we’re going through we cannot see it on the surface. I had no idea what I was being molded to, what was being stripped back and I’m telling you so much has been stripped away, so many illusions. I’m sure because of my nature
I’m still seeing illusions, but I must say as of today I’m asking more questions. I’m seeing a lot more that not everything I’d necessarily want to see. I’ve really had to cut back and decide where my energy is best placed. You know some of those arguments where regardless of what you do it’s going to still get the same result, so it kind of doesn’t matter.
what the reasons or solutions are it’s like this is the result so let’s just get to it that’s where i am now time and season and that’s what i will be looking into in the next podcast i’ve addressed it briefly before but this transit that i’ve been in i’m telling you it really took it out of me energy it took it out of me
Has it made me ⁓ reluctant to make decisions?
maybe the decision making process has changed it’s more based on intuition even if i cannot see it cannot prove it it’s really a case of okay so how does this feel to you right now
And that’s the lesson.
So do join me, I will be back again and we’ll be talking through our season. Thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Leta, Goddess of Growth.
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